That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
