I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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