we have pet lesbian snakes
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
