youre lurking in front of me
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
So squirting runs in the family.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
