we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
