apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
