This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
