im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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