I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
