So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize