He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
