he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
