Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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