he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
