I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
