Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
