Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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