i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You ruined the universe
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
