As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
