Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
