Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
