Got a toothbrush?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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