This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
