It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
