I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
