pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
