We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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