my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Randomize
