So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
PANTIES FOUND
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