i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
