I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize