Where is the hickey?
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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