JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
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