I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
