Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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