Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
