You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Randomize
