Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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