He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
