My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
