You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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