Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
