I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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