Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
