I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Semen is not good for contacts.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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