I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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