If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
