Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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