oh god the rape fog is back!
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
