i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize