Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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