I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
