before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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