can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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