I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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