Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i think my tv is drunk
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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