so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
We were destined to go to rehab together
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
