So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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