Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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