Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
