I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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