I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
